Parenting Tips
Parenting Tip # 1: Rethinking Good Parenting for Dual Income Families
Raising children in dual-income families is very challenging. By the time both parents return home, they are still feeling the stress from work. They must put aside their unfinished projects, criticism from the boss or uncooperative colleagues. Opening the door on a peaceful family scene with dinner in the oven and children doing their homework and playing together seems more like a fantasy these days than a reality. Usually, the parents find toys scattered throughout the house, children squabbling and teenagers text-messaging on the cell phone when they should be helping out with family chores. No wonder parents feel irritable. Read the following statements and see how many apply to you. In your mind, select True or False for each one.
- A good parent is one whose children obey them all the time. True or False.
- Good parenting comes naturally. True or False
- I often feel very guilty about not being home more for my children, but I know there isn't much I can do about it now. True or False
- Happy children don't have temper tantrums and bad moods. True or False
Answers:
- Not even the armed forces can control and predict the behavior of all its members. Your home is not an army base. Children have emotional responses, school situations that you know nothing about and "growing pains" from their on-going brain development. Great parents can still have children who don't listen and follow family rules. Sometimes, in fact, when a child consistently disobeys, it can be a signal that perhaps you as parents need to review the expectations and follow through on the consequences of unwanted behavior. Don't be so hard on yourself. No parent — or child — is perfect. A happy and healthy household is one where most — but not all of the time family members act respectfully and responsibly. The answer is false.
- We were not born with "parenting genes." Many of us did not come from families with great role models for parenting. So how do parents learn? First, they have to be willing to learn. Your library has many free books on parenting skills. Take out a few and see which techniques fit with your family. Asking for help is smart. Avoiding asking for help is what insecure people do. The answer is false.
- Holding onto feelings of guilt can create bad parenting. For example, working parents try to "make up" for their time away from home by breaking important family rules and expectations and over-indulging the children by buying them too much or letting them watch too much television. It's MORE important, in fact, that when working parents come home that they act like parents — hug and kiss your kids but still expect them to help out, do their chores and homework and get along. Children want rules and limits because these actions serve as guard rails for them. They might pout and stomp, but they would be lost without your guidance and care. If you enact these smart parenting tips then you have nothing to feel guilty about. You are working, don't forget, to be able to afford the important things for your children such as college. The answer is False.
- All children act disagreeable at times. The answer is most definitely false. Their bodies and minds are changing faster than they can keep up. They experience emotions that are new and unmanageable. Toddlers and teens, especially, like to "test" parents to make sure they still have parents who set limits. Don't get exasperated. Simply enforce the rules that you have explained to your family in advance. If you and your partner have not developed family expectations, rules and consequences, now is a good time to do them. The answer is False.
Stay tuned for more Family Prevention and Parenting Tips.
Dr. LeslieBeth Wish
Founding Sponsor
We would like to extend a sincere thank you to our Founding Sponsor and the Official Sponsor of our two annual fundraisers, Longboat Key Club & Resort. Their financial, emotional and volunteer support since the Foundation's inception has been amazing. They are truly making a difference in the lives of many children!
